Let Me Live
by Lothiriel84
Summary: Lorelei Martins trusted John with her life. Patrick Jane's life revolved around revenge. Taking care of other people was second nature to Teresa Lisbon. This is their story. - For the PIR April 2013 Monthly Challenge. AU, set after 4x24. Re-writing/expansion of my "Life Changes" series. Title from a song by Queen. Betaed by MerriWyllow. Cover image courtesy of aprilvolition.
1. Lorelei Martins

It was no secret that Lorelei Martins trusted John with her life. He'd been the one to save her from the living hell that her life had been ever since she could remember.

Her mother was a kind but weak woman, unable to protect her from that brute of a stepfather. He used to beat her up when he was drunk, and that happened almost every day.

When she turned seventeen she ran away from home, though she knew it would break her mother's heart. However, she definitely wasn't born under a lucky star, for she ended up selling her body on the streets; drunken men would take her against the wall of a dark alley, then leave her crying over her own misery.

John was the first man who asked permission before covering her mouth with his own. The first who kissed her bruises one by one before worshipping her body in ways no man had ever done before. He taught her to find her own strength, a strength that nobody could take away from her. She was a woman now, and no one would ever hurt her again.

Lorelei trusted Red John so much that she didn't even blink when he asked her to sleep with his personal nemesis, and to get pregnant with his child too.

xxx

Patrick Jane was nothing like she had imagined before. He was so vulnerable behind his show of charm and glibness that she almost felt a pang of guilt as she stood outside his motel room.

John taking pleasure in killing grown up women was one thing, the thought of his knife butchering the body of a five-year-old little girl was entirely another. And now she was going to trick the same man who'd had his daughter murdered into getting her with child; a child that would be Red John's ultimate bait to lure him in.

For the first time in years she felt uneasiness creep over her. No child should come into this world with such premises, and since she'd already had her fair share of pain in her life she couldn't bring herself to wish any of it upon another human being.

However, John had never failed her so far. All she had to do was put her trust in him, as she'd always done.

That's why she smiled and tapped her knuckles against the door.

xxx

It had been so easy, even too easy maybe. For all that he was still pining for his dead wife and wearing the wedding band the woman had put on his finger many years ago, Patrick Jane had given in to her advances quickly enough.

Lorelei wondered if it was true that he'd been celibate for almost a decade now. It was a hell of a dry spell, and she felt she owed him something special as the first woman he'd shared a bed with in so long. Given the way he was panting against her neck, it seemed that her efforts had paid off too.

The man had been so caught in the moment he hadn't even protested about the fact they hadn't used protection. What he didn't know was that John had been planning their night together for quite a long time now; and he wasn't one to leave anything to chance, especially when there was so much at stake.

xxx

It was only when she threw up on the cell floor for the third time in a row that they allowed her to see a doctor. Lorelei only smiled when the test results came through.

She was pregnant. With Patrick Jane's child.

No matter how things had gone spectacularly wrong ever since the FBI showed up in Vegas, she had accomplished her mission nonetheless. John was going to be proud of her.

And she really couldn't wait to see Patrick's reaction when he heard the news.

xxx

Patrick looked like a man who was desperately trying to wake up from a nightmare when she told him at long last.

"I thought you could tell if someone's lying," she teased him. "Am I lying now?"

He all but fled the room when he was forced to acknowledge the reality of what was happening.

The guards raised their brows as the chair he'd been sitting on toppled to the floor. Lorelei addressed them a pert smirk and followed them back to her prison cell.

xxx

Unsurprisingly her next visitor was no one else than Teresa Lisbon. As John had told her more than once, the lady cop was incredibly protective of her consultant; had it been any other woman, she would have bet good money that the two of them had been sleeping together for quite a long time now.

They had never done anything of the kind as a matter of fact, and she figured that Agent Lisbon was secretly jealous of the liaison Red John's girl had had with the man she considered her partner.

So she took great delight in dropping that bombshell.

Teresa looked like a deer caught in the headlights when the revelation eventually began to sink in, and Lorelei silently congratulated herself for getting under her rival's skin at last.

"He didn't tell you – did he? I guess there's a lot he's still keeping from you."

For a split second the lady cop looked about to slap her in the face, then she fled the room exactly like her precious friend had done just the day before.

A smile crept to her lips as she rested her hands in her lap and meekly waited for the guards to take her away.

xxx

"Why are you afraid to touch me, lover? I'm the mother of your child after all."

She wasn't sure what had prompted her to challenge Patrick this way, and she honestly wasn't expecting him to give in so easily.

The breath caught in his throat when he rested a hand on her flat belly, and he couldn't help closing his eyes. His love for their unborn child was so apparent on his face that she felt a sudden lump in her throat. She was barely aware of Patrick crying, as hot tears blurred her vision.

Later in the quiet of her prison cell Lorelei stared at the cracks in the ceiling and wondered what right did she have to hurt the father of her baby. He'd already suffered enough, and all of a sudden she felt like John's plan didn't suit her anymore.

How could she hand her own child over to someone as dangerous as Red John was?

Not that she had any say in the child's fate. She was in jail now, and would stay there until she either betrayed her master or was set free by his very hand.

As she stroked her belly she silently promised to do her best in order to protect the tiny life that was growing inside of her.

xxx

Lorelei Martins had never been so scared in her entire life. Not the first time her stepfather raised his hand against her, not even the night a guy had had his way with her while holding her at knifepoint.

Her life wasn't the only one at stake this time. And she'd never felt so overwhelmed with love for her unborn child as she did now, her hands clutching at her chest in a desperate attempt to staunch the bleeding.

There was so much blood everywhere, and she knew exactly who was to blame for it. John had guessed her will was wavering, so getting rid of her was the safest option for him either way.

It would still be enough to break Patrick's heart for good this time.

"Calm down, Lorelei. You're going to be alright – both of you."

Teresa Lisbon's voice broke through her panicked thoughts at last. Teresa was there, Teresa would protect her and Jane's child.

Lorelei clutched onto her hand and closed her eyes. It was no wonder that Patrick was so in love with his cop friend, for she was probably the most selfless woman that had ever stepped this Earth.

xxx

She didn't hesitate to fling her arms around his neck when Patrick entered her hospital room at length. In spite of the strict security outside the room, she couldn't help seeing her former master lurking in every dark corner.

He looked both weary and worried, but did his best to comfort her nonetheless. He was a kind man, and nothing like John had ever been in spite of all the wool he'd been pulling over her eyes.

"Don't let him kill me. Please."

Now she was ready to do whatever it took in order to save the life of her child, and her own as well.

As she clung more tightly to Patrick she felt safer than she'd ever been in her entire life; for he would do anything to save his own child too.

xxx

Red John was dead. The man who'd tried to kill her had finally met his fate at the hands of Teresa Lisbon.

The lady cop had done it mainly for Patrick's sake, and yet she was the closest thing to a friend that Lorelei had had in all of her life. She owed her life and freedom to Teresa, and the life of her child too.

As soon as she'd been released from jail, Lorelei had headed straight to the cemetery where Angela and Charlotte Jane were buried. Even though she was in no way responsible for their death, she still felt guilty for befriending the man that had taken their lives.

And now she was carrying a baby that was never going to meet her half-sister.

No child deserved a mother like her, especially Patrick's child. Nor was she under any illusion that the two of them could ever play the happy family together.

Patrick was in love with another woman, and he was never going to forget her connection to the serial killer who had murdered his family. She had already hurt him by tricking him into fathering her child, and now it was time to set things right.

Her daughter surely deserved the love of her father; from the look of things, she would probably have a most wonderful mother too.

Lorelei dropped a bunch of wildflowers to the ground and smiled a sad smile. If there was someone she could trust with her child, that was exactly Patrick's best friend.

xxx

She was alone as she gave birth to her child. It didn't matter though; she'd been alone for the better part of her life after all.

All the pain she'd been through was finally forgotten when a beautiful baby girl was placed into her arms. Her daughter resembled her father so closely, and she was truly happy about this fact.

Perhaps his daughter would help Patrick to heal and be whole again. And somewhere in heaven little Charlotte Anne would be rejoicing for the birth of her little sister too.

xxx

Teresa stared at her for a good minute when she showed up at her door with her daughter wrapped in a blanket.

"Her name's Carrie," Lorelei said as she placed the child into the other woman's arms. "It was my mother's name – the only good thing I had in my life."

She tried to ignore the pain in her chest as she walked away from her baby. It was for the best though, and she was sure her daughter would be thankful for her choice someday.

A lone tear trickled down her cheek before she could even try to blink it back.

xxx

Even though she hadn't deemed it possible, she met a good man at long last. He didn't care about her past, but he cared for her instead.

Brian never tried to change her, he simply loved her the way she was. And he looked so genuinely happy when she told him she was pregnant that she almost burst into tears.

She'd kept herself from seeking out her first daughter for years, but now she felt like she had to see her again, if only from a distance. That's why one day she drove all the way back to Sacramento and took a walk in the park.

"It's nice to meet you again, lover."

Patrick Jane only smiled at her. "Lorelei. What a surprise."

Her eyes rested on the two girls playing on the swing. They were so much alike, both of them sharing Patrick's golden curls. And, above of all, they looked truly happy.

"They're beautiful. Your daughters, I mean."

Lorelei couldn't help a note of wistfulness in her tone, and yet she wasn't regretting her decision in the slightest. Carrie was safe and loved, and even the lines on Patrick's face weren't about sorrow anymore.

He had forgiven her somehow. The night when their daughter had been conceived they had just been using each other for their own selfish purposes, but they had moved on ever since.

Life was good now, even if she still missed her child sometimes.

When the two girls ran towards the woman both of them considered as their mother, her lips curled in a small smile.

"Take care of her, Patrick," she said as she made to leave.

She didn't have the heart to meet her daughter's gaze as she slowly walked away.

xxx

Her son Roger was the light of her life. She simply couldn't wait for the moment when he would come home from school and tell her about his day.

However, her mind was otherwise busy today. Teresa had phoned her a couple of days ago, and her heart was pounding at the prospect of finally meeting her own daughter.

The nervous teenager that was waiting on the threshold was even more beautiful than she remembered from the last time she'd happened to see her.

As for Carrie, she seemed to recognize her as the woman she'd met in the park too.

"Your name's Lorelei, correct?"

"That's it. What a name – don't you think?"

The girl simply shrugged. "I suppose so."

As she made her tea, Carrie eventually plucked up her courage to blurt out the questions that had probably been plaguing her mind for a while now.

"Were you in love with dad?"

"I wouldn't say so."

"Was he in love with you?"

Lorelei paused slightly. "He never loved me. There's just two women he's ever been in love with. One's Teresa, the other was his first wife."

From the look on Carrie's face she guessed that Patrick had told his daughters about Angela and Charlotte, though of course he wouldn't say they'd been murdered. Not yet anyway.

The girl averted her gaze before asking one more question. "If you're my real mother… why didn't you take me with you when you went away?"

"I had some bad friends back then," her voice trembled a bit, but she went on. "They wanted to make your father's life a living hell. In the end he was the one to save me from them."

"That's why you gave me to him?"

"I owed it to him, in a way."

"You wanted him to be happy?"

Her heart leaped in her chest when she finally laid a hand on her daughter's head. "Happiness is what we're all looking for – isn't it?"

Carrie shivered at the touch, then closed her eyes. On a sudden impulse Lorelei began stroking her hair, then asked a question in turn.

"Have you been happy with your family, darling?"

Tears began trickling down the girl's cheeks, and she could feel something stirring inside her too.

"Yes," Carrie said eventually. Nothing could ever change the fact she was her biological mother, but Lorelei was well aware that family was something stronger than blood ties.

As she took the still full teacup from the girl's trembling hands she said what Carrie needed to hear, no matter if it broke her heart. "You don't owe me anything. All I did for you was carrying you for nine months. While Teresa has been the one who took care of you for all these years. You are her daughter, Carrie."

In the end she couldn't help wrapping her arms around her and holding her tightly.

"Goodbye, my child," she said at last.

Her house felt so empty without her daughter now. As soon as little Roger stepped inside at last she took him in her arms and clutched him to her chest, as if she never wanted to let him go.


	2. Patrick Jane

Ever since his family had been murdered, Patrick Jane's life revolved around revenge. He thought about it day and night; his dreams were always stained with blood dripping from deep cuts.

It was his twisted way to find redemption, though he knew Lisbon definitely wouldn't agree on that. And while Teresa Lisbon mattered to him more than he would ever care to admit, he wasn't anywhere ready to give up on his quest for the sake of her friendship.

His wife and daughter would always come first, at least until Red John was still breathing. After that he'd probably be either dead or in jail, so it was kind of a moot point anyway.

When the serial killer himself sent him a message, he decided he would do exactly as asked. He faked a breakdown and wandered off to Vegas, where he spent his days in a drunken haze.

The alcohol served both the purpose of backing his story, and of numbing himself from the pain of leaving all his friends behind. Each and every of Lisbon's frantic messages tore another little piece of his heart, but he knew he couldn't answer.

Red John had to buy his act before making the next move. That meant he had to pay attention to the smallest details; otherwise he would end up blowing his cover, and all of his efforts would be vain.

Such a hell lasted six long months before he was approached by a cocktail waitress at long last. She didn't strike him as anything but a good girl, and yet he had a feeling there might be more about her than met the eyes at first.

His hunch was confirmed when the woman showed up at the door of his shabby motel room, and announced she'd been the one to put up bail for him. That was the reason he didn't hesitate to play along with her game, allowed her to kiss him and shed his clothes.

He forced himself to swallow the guilt for cheating on Angela, and maybe on someone else too. The way his body was reacting to a woman's touch after all those years of self-denial didn't matter, while he only focused his mind on his ultimate goal.

_This is simply a means to an end_, that was the mantra he kept on repeating as he tried to shut out the mounting pleasure.

It was a small mercy that his always eluding sleep welcomed him in its arms as soon as they were done. He would be spared some guilt, at least for a short while.

xxx

After the spectacular failure in Vegas, he was even more determined to crack Lorelei like a nut. He was sure she knew Red John quite intimately, and therefore was the key to bring the serial killer down at long last.

Lorelei looked like the cat that ate the canary when he went to visit her in jail. He furrowed his brow slightly, didn't even had the time to speak before she dropped a bombshell he honestly wasn't expecting.

"Congratulations, lover. We're pregnant."

The worst part of it all was that he could see she was telling the truth for once. He'd been an idiot to think that Red John wouldn't have an ace up his sleeve, and play his trump card at the right time.

Now he had something to lose again, something he wasn't any more willing to risk than Lisbon's life. He was going to have a child with a serial killer's minion, and that was even a thousand times worse than all of the nightmares which had been plaguing his mind over the last decade.

What had he done this time?

xxx

He didn't know how to face Teresa when she knocked at his door that night. Shame and fear threatened to choke him, after a moment he simply gave in and cried against her shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

"Shush, Jane," Lisbon said soothingly as she stroked his back. "You're not alone."

She made him sit down on his bed, then kissed his tears away one by one. Then her lips brushed gently against his own, and his thoughts came to a sudden stop.

His eyes never left hers as her hands wandered to the buttons of his vest. The first touch of her fingertips against his bare skin was enough to make him feel whole again for that moment in time.

xxx

Lisbon brought him tea in the morning, and he could easily imagine another life where he would be safe, loved, and wise in the shelter of her arms.

She gave him a quick peck on the lips before walking out of the room. There were things that had to be done, and he trusted her to do her very best in order to protect his precious child from Red John's clutches.

In another life, she would be the woman expecting his child instead.

xxx

He felt hurt and angry and heartbroken when he had to face Lorelei again. His child was growing inside of her, while she was friends with the man who had killed Charlotte only to make him suffer.

In the end he couldn't stop himself from reaching for her still flat belly, and his own emotions had him overwhelmed all of a sudden.

Any baby was a miracle, this one even more so because he'd never thought he would be given the chance to be a father again. If Red John intended to lay his hands on another of his children, he was going to prove him wrong.

Tears trickled down his cheeks, and he idly wondered why Lorelei was crying as well.

xxx

It was a wonder that he didn't get arrested as he rushed to the hospital where Lorelei had been taken. He broke all the speed limits on his way there, and yet it was for good reasons this time.

Red John had struck sooner than they had expected, it was only by sheer luck that Lorelei was still alive when they found her. He prayed the God he didn't believe in that the child would make it through as well.

Lisbon welcomed him with the news that both the mother and the baby were fine, and he breathed again at long last. He wouldn't have survived the loss of another child, that was sure.

Jane relished his best friend's embrace for a moment before stepping inside the room.

xxx

Lorelei was so frightened after the attack that she sought comfort in his arms every time he walked to her side. Her pregnant belly squeezed between them gave him mixed feelings; he was desperately in love with his child, and yet couldn't help loathing the touch of the woman who'd put her trust in a serial killer.

However, she had seen the truth at long last; Red John had no friends, and her only chance at survival was to hand over her former master to the police.

"Don't let him kill me. Please," she begged.

They had to get to Red John before he decided to strike again.

xxx

It was over. A decade-long chase had ended in the last way he would have expected, but he wasn't sorry in the slightest.

Teresa had taken matters into her hands, and made sure that her shooting the serial killer would be ruled out as self-defense. It didn't matter that Red John hadn't died at his own hands, the nightmare was over and he could start living again.

All charges against Lorelei had been dropped as well, and she had walked away as a free woman. Jane couldn't help fearing that she might disappear with his child, but he knew he had to give her some space after all she'd been through. Lisbon was discreetly keeping tabs on her anyway, and that was one more reason for him to be grateful.

She was a most wonderful woman, and he didn't deserve her in the slightest. However, when he told her as much she only rolled her eyes, for they both knew he would be utterly lost without her.

He just hoped that Lorelei would agree to share custody of their child when the time came.

xxx

Patrick Jane simply couldn't believe his eyes when he stepped into Lisbon's apartment to find her cradling a baby girl in her arms. The child was sleeping peacefully against her chest, while Teresa looked like she'd been waiting for this moment for all her life.

Instantly he knew she would love his daughter as her own, and his heart swelled with happiness at long last. He would be thankful to his dying day for the gift Lorelei had given to him, allowing him to raise their child with the woman he loved.

Little Carrie didn't even stir when he took her in his arms, his eyes staring at her as if she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his entire life.

Even Lorelei had guessed that Teresa would be a wonderful mother, and he couldn't help asking that question.

"Would you be the mother of my children, Teresa? All of them?"

She looked so beautiful when she blushed, though she'd never given him the chance to say as much.

"I will," she said at last. And he knew he would hold her to her promise, no matter what.

xxx

A few months later his lovely wife announced she was expecting.

He brushed his lips against the soft skin of her belly again and again, whispering affectionate words to the child he just couldn't wait to meet.

They were both crying as they made love that night, and yet their tears were tears of joy.

xxx

He'd chosen the name as soon as the sonogram had revealed that their baby was a girl. Abigail meant _father's joy_, though he'd eventually relented and agreed to shorten it to Abbie in order to fit the name of her eldest sister.

Just a year ago he would have laughed in the face of anyone who told him he could be happy again in spite of the tragedy that had befell his late family. Now, as he was holding his newborn daughter in his arms, he felt like he'd never been so happy before.

Of course he would always love Angela and Charlotte, but a decade of living in the darkness had made what he'd been given ever since even more precious.

He had Teresa now, along with two beautiful girls. Even though he didn't believe in the afterlife, he could almost picture his eldest daughter smiling down at them right now.

And the thought made him smile as well.

xxx

It was a curious coincidence that all of his daughters had inherited his blond curls, in spite of their mothers having dark hair. Each of them had taken after her own mother for the color of her eyes instead; Charlotte had had hazel eyes like Angela's, while Carrie shared Lorelei's dark eyes, and he always claimed that the green of Abbie's eyes came more from Teresa than from himself.

As he watched his two youngest girls playing on the living room carpet, he mused that it might be the time for them to visit their eldest sister. Of course he wasn't going to tell them the whole truth about her death, but they deserved to know about the little angel they'd never had a chance to meet.

It was the least he owed to Charlotte anyway.

xxx

Carrie had picked herself the daisies she wanted to bring onto her sister's grave, while Abbie had insisted that even in heaven Charlotte might want a teddy bear to play with.

While his girls placed their gifts on the green grass, he took comfort in the reassuring presence of Teresa that was sticking by his side.

Along the years he'd made some measure of peace with his past; that didn't stop every visit to the cemetery from being a painful reminder of his loss, and of the guilt he was still trying to leave behind.

A small smile played at the corner of his eyes as he took in a bunch of wildflowers that none of them had brought. He hadn't heard from Lorelei ever since Carrie's birth, but it seemed that she still remembered she was part of his family somehow.

xxx

Jane was sitting on a bench in the park and watching his daughters play on the swing, when his gaze was met by a playful smirk that he hadn't been expecting to ever see again.

He'd often wondered whether Lorelei was regretting the choice of letting her child go, and that thought had plagued him even more frequently after Carrie had discovered that Teresa wasn't her biological mother. The truth was bound to come out sooner or later, but he'd rather have told her himself instead of having an unsympathetic classmate teasing her because of her dark eyes.

As he turned towards Lorelei he pushed all those thoughts to the back of his mind. Whatever was the reason that had prompted her to come here, he was sure she wasn't going to claim her daughter back after all those year.

"What are you doing here, Lorelei?" he asked her at length.

"I just wanted to see my child. That's all."

However, that was only a part of the truth. He smirked when he took in something he should have noticed right from the start, then nodded slowly.

"Congratulations, by the way."

He was right, of course. Lorelei was pregnant, and that was the reason why she felt like she had to see her first daughter once again.

It was nice to know that she'd moved on from the shadows of her past at last. Red John hadn't been able to destroy the good in her, and she deserved a loving family just like any other woman on this Earth.

"Do you miss Carrie?"

"Sometimes," she said, and he knew she wasn't regretting her choice, even if it broke her heart a little.

One day he would make sure that his daughter met her little brother, and her real mother too; it was the least he owed to Lorelei anyway.

Life was complicated, but that didn't mean it wasn't beautiful as well.


	3. Teresa Lisbon

Taking care of other people was second nature to Teresa Lisbon, ever since her childhood. She'd done her best to look after her brothers and her drunken father as well, despite being only twelve back then.

When she decided to join the police it was mainly in order to help and protect the weak, and that could only be achieved by making sure that the law was upheld. What was lawful and what was right were exactly one and the same thing in her mind.

A lot of things had changed ever since. She might not be able to protect people, but she still sought justice for the families of the victims. If closure was all she could give them, then so be it.

She'd also learned that not even the law could be always right. Sometimes you have to bend the rules a little bit in order to set things straight, and she'd learned it the hard way working with Patrick Jane.

Still, another crack opened in her heart each and every time she saw her consultant – her friend – sink to a new low in order to get closer to the serial killer he'd been chasing for almost a decade now. He'd told her time and time again that there were some things she just couldn't fix, and yet it didn't change the fact she wanted to save him nonetheless. She _needed_ to save him, lest her own failure ended up breaking her heart someday.

That's why she pressed the speed dial button once again and waited for him to answer with bated breath.

He never did though, just like all of the countless times she'd tried to call him in the past six months.

xxx

Jane had slept with Red John's girl. He had slept with Red John's girl, and he hadn't even bothered to tell her. He always claimed that deniability was her best friend, but she couldn't agree less with such a statement. She needed to know the truth in order to apply proper damage limitation, and she had to do that before things spiraled out of control. Jane never seemed to understand that, no matter how hard she tried.

They had just called from the maximum security prison where Lorelei was currently kept in custody, telling her that the CBI consultant had abruptly left the interrogation room where he was questioning the prisoner and then left without any further explanation.

Wondering what was the matter with her friend this time, she grabbed her car keys and strode out of the office. Whatever it was, she had to fix it as soon as possible.

It was nothing short of a miracle that Jane had managed to survive for six whole months without her constant surveillance, as a matter of fact.

xxx

For a moment Lisbon wished she could wipe away that smug smile from Lorelei's face. However, she was a cop, and it wouldn't do for her to hit suspects – with a few notable exception when she'd done it in order to save Jane's sorry ass.

She would never hit a pregnant woman anyway, lest of all one that was apparently carrying Jane's child.

It wasn't like her consultant to be so naïve when it came to such matters, but she knew how single-minded he could be whenever he got that little bit closer to Red John. And even if he'd been more careful and used protection, the serial killer might have found another way to make his dirty plan to work.

Briefly she considered the option that Lorelei's child could be someone else's instead of Jane's. Even then, he wouldn't risk the life of an innocent baby and she knew it.

Besides, whenever Red John decided to pursue something, he always got it the way he wanted.

Abruptly she stood and left the room, feeling that woman's eyes on her all the way out.

xxx

Jane was on the verge of tears when he opened the door of his old motel room at last. She had expected nothing less, and allowed him to cry his heart out as she hugged him for dear life.

"That woman is going to take my child away from me," he sobbed helplessly against her shoulder. "I can't bear it… I can't…"

She placed a gentle finger on his lips in order to silence him. "I won't allow her."

Then her lips found his mouth, and she felt years of pent-up feelings crashing on them like waves in a storm. It was about love, it was about comfort and letting him know she would always be there for him, no matter what.

When she felt him trembling beneath her she smiled softly in the hollow of his neck.

xxx

In the morning she disentangled herself from his embrace and delved into the cupboards until she found his favorite brand of tea.

Jane needed all the strength she could give him now, and she was going to fight for him and his child to her last breath. It didn't matter that the child's mother was a serial killer's accomplice, she wouldn't allow Red John to hurt her friend more than he'd already done.

He would have to step over her dead body in order to do that.

xxx

Red John had suddenly decided it was time to end his little game, and to get rid of the only person who could lead them straight to him.

However, luck had been on their side for once. A guard had walked in to find Lorelei still alive, and now Lisbon wasn't going to leave her side until she was completely sure no one was going to hurt her again.

For the first time since the two of them had met Lorelei revealed herself for the vulnerable woman that she was, clinging onto Teresa's hand as if it had suddenly become her only lifeline.

"If that guard hadn't been there, I would be dead by now. It was him, I tell you – he wanted to kill me."

"Lorelei, look at me. I'm not going to sit on my hands and let that son of a gun take the life of my friend's child."

That seemed to calm the panicking woman, and she closed her eyes at last. All they could do now was let the doctors do their job, and pray to God that both Lorelei and her child would make it through unscathed.

She couldn't bring herself to think how Jane would react if they didn't.

xxx

Lorelei now needed all the support that Jane could give her, and who was she to deny her that?

It was not that Lisbon was jealous of her anyway. She knew that Jane felt nothing for the poor woman, only pity and the need to protect the mother of his unborn child.

However, as she watched their embrace from the other side of a two-way mirror she couldn't help wishing that their places had been exchanged, and that she was the one carrying his child.

Well, no amount of what ifs would help them in their current situations. Red John was still on the loose, and they had to find him before he struck again.

She just hoped that any information Lorelei would provide them with was going to be enough.

xxx

Teresa Lisbon was a cop, all of her life she'd tried to upheld the law to the best of her abilities. However, she didn't even feel guilty as she emptied her gun on the man that had murdered so many innocent people, including Jane's wife and daughter.

She'd waited until it was definitely self-defense, then fired without any remorse. When Red John fell to her feet with a surprised expression on his face, she simply turned on her heels and left.

Her team was going to take care of everything that followed, and she trusted them to make their job as well as she would do herself. Jane needed her right now, and perhaps even Lorelei as well.

The wretched girl deserved to get herself a new life, far from the shadow of a deranged serial killer. Especially now that she was going to be a mother in a couple of months.

xxx

Jane had been getting more and more anxious as the date when the baby was due approached. Lisbon had done her best to make sure that Lorelei wouldn't disappear into the blue before discussing the matter of custody, but the fact she'd stubbornly refused to let Jane stand at her side at the time of the birth only made things worse.

She heaved a sigh of relief when her informant called and said that Lorelei had given birth to a healthy baby girl, and she had showed no sign of wanting to leave yet.

It was late one night when a knock came at the door, and though she'd been the main subject of her thoughts lately, Lorelei was the last person she expected to find standing on her threshold.

The woman placed the bundle she was carrying into her arms, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw the minute head of blonde curls peeping out from the blankets.

"I don't understand," she started, but Lorelei cut her short.

"You saved my life when you shot the man I considered a friend. I'm sure you'll look after my daughter as well."

Teresa blinked back the tears as she watched the other woman disappearing into the night. She really couldn't believe that Lorelei had decided to give up on his daughter for Jane's sake, and it warmed her heart to think that the three of them could be a family now.

Speaking of Jane, she had to tell him the news right now. He would surely be happy to meet his daughter at long last.

xxx

When a breathless Jane showed at her door she could barely suppress an amused smile. He looked slightly disheveled now, and given the amount of time that had passed since her call it was a wonder that he'd managed to make it to her apartment safe and sound.

She raised her brow at the strange look that suddenly appeared on his face; it took her a moment to recognize the emotion that was written all over his features, and it was something she had never expected to actually see on him. Patrick Jane was truly happy for once, his past momentarily pushed aside for the sheer joy of the moment.

His smile widened even further as she placed the baby girl into his arms.

"I can't understand why she gave her child to me," she said in wonder.

"Because she knew you were going to make a most wonderful mother."

Truth be told, she already thought of Carrie as her own daughter. And maybe one day she would give Jane another child too.

xxx

Cradling Carrie's little body into her lap stirred a strange feeling in her now. Teresa could hardly believe that she was actually with child, especially given her age and the fact that she'd been married to Patrick for just a couple of months.

Her husband couldn't hide his surprise when she told him, he'd been so focused on his daughter that he'd missed to spot the signs like he usually did.

That night he spent hours murmuring sweet nothings to the tiny life that was growing inside of her, then kissed her all over and made love to her so gently she wanted to cry.

Once she used to think she would always be second best to Angela, but now she knew that she'd been wrong after all.

xxx

She was overwhelmingly tired and her whole body ached, but she couldn't help but smile at the sight of Jane holding his newborn daughter as if she was the most precious thing in the world.

Abbie was definitely lucky to have a father that loved her so much. Their little family was the most perfect thing she'd ever dared to wish for in her entire life.

xxx

Both Carrie and Abbie had taken remarkably well the news that they were going to visit their long-lost sister at the cemetery. Abbie even insisted that she was going to bring her favorite teddy bear as a gift for Charlotte.

She was well aware that it was still painful for Patrick to come here, and that was why she stood by his side with a hand on the small of his back. There was always going to be a special place in his heart for his late family, but there was enough room inside there for his new family as well.

xxx

The only shadow to her happiness was the fear that Carrie would discover the truth about her birth before she was old enough to understand it. The little girl had beautiful dark eyes, and that was proof enough that she couldn't be both her and Patrick's child.

However, the last thing Teresa was expecting was one of Carrie's classmates to tease her about that. Kids could be cruel sometimes, even if they weren't aware of it.

The girl cried over her sister's shoulder all the way back home, before she eventually dared to speak her mind.

"You and daddy are my real parents, aren't you?"

Teresa knew that she owed her the truth, and made her sit in her lap before answering.

"Daddy is your real father," she said as she stroked Carrie's hair. "I married him shortly after you were born, and raised you as my own daughter."

"You're not my mom?"

She felt the girl's body trembling and held her more tightly. "I might not be your biological mother, but I _am_ your mommy. Don't ever doubt that."

In the end it was Abbie who saved the day, for she threw her slender arms around her sister and rested her head against her shoulder. A watery smile showed on Carrie's face as she hugged her back, and Teresa felt deeply grateful that her daughters were so close in spite of everything else.

xxx

A warm smile tugged at Teresa's lips when she saw the teenager walking back to the car.

Meeting her biological mother hadn't been easy for Carrie, but she'd always been sure that the girl was strong enough to face the truth about her past. And Lorelei deserved a chance to know her own daughter too.

As soon as she got into the car Carrie threw her arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. Teresa smiled into the embrace and held her girl closely to her chest.


End file.
